It’s the 3rd day of 2014 and I thought to myself, days really pass by so quickly that I know in just a snap, it’ll be a year from now. With daily events no matter how big or small, special or not, meaningful or senseless that occupy our days, activate our bodies and fill our minds, I think it takes some kind of courage and bravery to stop, think, breathe and feel.
Stopping. This doesn’t necessarily means halting what you do. It’s not ending what you have started. I just thought that sometimes it’s good to stop, refreshing even. It’s like pausing from a long run to drink water, like checking how you are doing with that painting, or appreciating the view during a road trip. I believe that when you stop, you have the power to look back not to regret things that have happened or crave for something you can never have again but to evaluate and assess what transpired, what you felt and why you felt it all along. It’s not that you are trying to figure out why all those things happened because clearly you can’t have all the answers. It’s just that I guess for me it’s important to know what were the things that wounded and tore me apart and to be reminded as well of the things that kept me going because all these somehow speak as to why I am here and what I have become. With stopping, I think I am able to take a look at the past that eventually pushes me to move forward towards my future without forgetting of course that I am in the present, that I am actually living the moment.
Thinking. I think a lot. And I believe this is not a bad thing. This makes me realize things, it makes me discover myself more, and it actually makes a clearer view of what I want, where I wanna go and how I want to do things. Thinking helps me grow as a person; it connects me both to the physical and imaginary world, an amazing reconciliation of truth and beautiful imageries of my playful mind. I am very much grateful that I have this reflective mind, that I am able to weigh things, know consequences and draw boundaries. And although this doesn’t immune me from committing mistakes (which in fact I have committed enormously and repetitively), I still take pride of the fact that I understand my mistakes that I have done it and that I should forgive myself like how I would forgive someone who did the same to me. I believe that when you think, when you understand, deeply and wholeheartedly, you are a person who easily connects and feel towards and for others. And this isn’t such a bad thing, right?
It takes some kind of courage and bravery to stop and think which leads to breathing and feeling because when you do look back and use your mind in remembering what happened, how it happened and what you felt, you are confronting the pain you once sensed, the joy you always wanted to relieve, the failures that discouraged you and the memories that marked epic moments of your life. These are roller coasters of emotions that transpired in your past and by looking back at it, you remember, you learn, you accept and you move on.